Happy (hot) Weekend.

We had some relief and the temperatures dropped to the low 100's, but next week we're looking at 109, again. I think this might just be the weekend that I take your advice, and get a kiddie pool for us to splash in.


Happy Weekend, friends.
Any fun plans?

the Swallowtail.

Every Summer, the Swallowtail caterpillar plows through entire harvests of dill. I have not one year seen my Mom and Grandma's gardens escape their presence.

This year, I planted an unusually large amount of herbs, and my patch of dill was a large portion of my herb garden. Within a few weeks of the time I planted my seeds, my garden was full of them.



They would grow fat with bellies full of dill, then one day disappear. A few days later tiny baby swallowtail caterpillars would be in their place...sometimes as many as 15.


Michael's little brother spent a good amount of the Summer with us, and one night, Michael and him devised a plan only two 16 year old boys could come up with. $20 would be paid to his brother if he ate one of my caterpillars.

"Why not? It's $20."

I tried everything. I begged, lied, told him they were acidic and warned him against the foul odor they spray when predators come around. That last part wasn't a lie...but I did tell him that they taste like bile and sour dill.



They probably do.


The reason I finally gave him was the one I gave Michael when he told me to get rid of them, and how they were pests to my garden.
One day, they will wake up and not be these little dill-destroying creatures. They will be worth more than $20.



The evening before his brother left to go back home, I was outside, picking the last of my herbs for the season. Trapped inside the tomato and strawberry cage was a little something I called him outside to see.



It was one of our little swallowtail caterpillars, all grown up.

To see this transformation happen within two weeks is breath taking. And I knew there was a reason why this year, I planted enough dill for the two of us.

This is the Black Swallowtail...our Oklahoma State Butterfly. It's a huge part of what I saw growing up here, and to me...that is worth more than all the $20 bills in the world.

Swallowtail - The Oklahoma butterfly from Aura on Vimeo.

song is "Ripe" - Givers.


...

Thanks for the weather encouragement and teething tips, friends. Last night, a few hours after I posted, we got our rain.

The long, hot days of an Oklahoma Summer.

This Summer has been abnormally hot, even for our scorching Oklahoma Summers. When June came around, our temperatures reached the 100's and have stayed that way. There seems to be no end in sight, and every week we watch the weather, disappointed by another 7 days of triple digit temperatures and no rain in sight. We are in the middle of a severe drought, and the days seem to drag on with no relief.
At any given time, the weather here seems to be an indicator that the world is ending, when in reality, it is just a typical Oklahoma weather pattern.



Even our watering holes prove no relief, only feeling like a disappointing tepid bath. One that makes your skin almost feel worse than it did before.



We are all suffering from severe cabin fever, and feeling the need to spread our wings and be part of the outside world again. Days are spent trapped inside our house with the air conditioner on constantly, barely clothed, and sweating. Sweet Elodie seems to be taking it the worst. She loves nothing more than being outside - I adore that first moment when I take her out and she sighs, blinks her eyes, and takes in all the smells, sounds, and happy bits of nature. But these days she is stuck inside with the rest of us, and also teething. She cries, cries, cries...chews on frozen pacifiers and her little fingers. I want desperately to let her feel the wind on her skin and through her hair....I miss it, too.



We keep her busy the best we can, but there is only so much you can do with a (almost) 4 month old that just wants to sit in the hammock and swing, listening to the birds.



I try to rattle toys at her, but everything seems to make her cry. I make her promises of Fall, and how we will hike, go for walks, and lay in the hammock until she falls asleep and drifts off to another place.



The time inside has been a nice break to spend with family, and rest. But as the days go by and I see more and more of her personality come through, I realize how much of the two of us is inside her tiny body.



She is a whole mess of bored & sensitive, and a combination of her screams and this heat have been making my head very heavy.

We still have 2 more full months of hot weather, and for now I have to focus on the day to day. Looking ahead, it seems like a lifetime away before I can open the windows and let the stale out of this home that feels like a prison.





When she is in bed and my world is quiet again, I grab the monitor and sneak outside to unwind. The evening is the only time of day that is somewhat bearable, although the upper 90's are not much of a relief from this overbearing weight of Summer.
I take photos, pull weeds, and sadly look over a garden that stood no chance against the kind of Summer we had this year.



In late July, a Summer Breeze in Oklahoma is nothing like the ones that cool us to our bones in Spring. Now they feel heavy, thick, like a brick across your face. It feels like opening an oven, and being met with a wall of heat.

My herbs have long ago dried up, and what I didn't save to dry myself for the cooler months, I let go to seed. I have been outside in these hot evenings, picking them to prepare for gardening season, next Spring.






The way you feel after spending a couple hours outside in this weather can only be truly understood if you have spent a Summer here, in the middle of arid Oklahoma.
After a period of time, it almost feels like death. Your body is only brought back to reality by the beads of sweat that slowly trickle down your back, reminding you that you are still alive. Everything slows down, and even your senses are completely numb. Things seem to move slower, the world is drowsier, your heart beats quieter.



Across the state, people are losing their lives, and our wildlife is completely threatened by this drought.



In a literal sense, everything is just cooking.



Every couple weeks, clouds will fill the sky and everyone is praying to their God that it will finally rain. But we are met with no response from anyone or thing upstairs, and the tiny drops that barely cover the tallest leaves quickly evaporate.



The only things thriving are the sunflowers. My wildflower garden has dried up, but the sunflowers seem to be loving this heat.



Their faces are an absolute joy, a mirror image of the hot sun that is causing all of this trouble. But still they make me happy, to know that something is still able to live through this.





I've been clipping them and bringing them inside, my tiny bits of the outdoors inside of this air-conditioned-prison.
I've also been bringing inside handfuls of tomatoes from the garden...they are the only other remaining things that have survived.



But as of last week, this spider has made it's home in the middle of my three tomato plants, and I doubt that I will be in the middle of her web, picking my fruit any longer.




How challenging it really is... to stay optimistic and alive when everything around you is dying.
In these moments - the end of our icy Winters and the long, hot days of an Oklahoma Summer - it is a daily struggle and fight to put on a smile and face a world that is doing everything it can to break you down.



In these weak moments I think of sweet Elodie. Tiny, teething, sensitive, and innocent. Her first Summer has been a challenging one....and I wish that I could make it all better for her. For myself. But in real life, things don't work that way.

So today, and tomorrow, and for as long as that 7 day forecast spells 106 + no precipitation, I will smile and teach Elodie that sometimes we cannot control what goes on around us. The hand we are dealt may not be the best, but it's the only one we have.
In our home we are dreaming of the brisk days of Fall, open windows, and new life. Long walks, bike rides, and patio nights. Throwing more wood on the chiminea fire, swinging in the hammock, and a barren weight of Summer '11 to be lifted from our weary shoulders.

We will take it one day at a time, and one day we will wake up and these dreams will be today. Until then, all we can do is wait.

to Be near you - (round three of the Styleathon)

When people speak from their hearts, before our minds have had a chance to reason, the voice is loud...clear, and a statement of initial chemistry. Fireworks.
I like to write from this place, and have a hard time putting guidelines or limitations on the things that come to mind. This is true inspiration, wild thoughts racing through your head, flashing images so quick you can barely write them down fast enough.

The truth is, that I found this Styleathon a bit difficult and outside my norm. The fashion aspect of it was completely foreign to me. I had such a hard time actually putting conscience effort into what I needed to be wearing. Normally, it’s whatever is clean (and sometimes not clean) and comfortable. Posing for the photos was even more taxing, and I found myself to be very unnatural and uncomfortable. Michael even accused me of taking too big of steps as I was walking :) An obvious sign that I was putting too much thought into how everything looked (and trying not to trip in the process).

But like everything else that we come across in life that makes us step outside of our comfort zone, I did learn a thing or two.
Throughout this project, I have been worried about what the people that come here would think.
I know a majority of my friends are not typical Fashionistas. Lots of yoga pants and flowy skirts around these parts. There’s not a lot of my $12, knit Target skirts, flip flops, and denim cut offs on any runways. I don’t read any fashion magazines, and tend to be super lazy when it comes to actually getting ready. This was a reminder that we have a tendency to worry about our appearance entirely too much. Women have a habit of being overly critical of themselves, and others. Sometimes I think our preoccupation with having the perfect hair, makeup, and clothes comes from the assumption that other women will be judging us. In reality, we are so much harder on ourselves than anyone else…our own worst critics. The last couple months have been full of gentle reminders to be confident and kind, and to appreciate myself for who I really am. To capture the real moments with Elodie, as they were happening. Even if they were simple, and not so glamorous in the process. My careful observer, I love that she watches the world through her curious eyes and learns through me being myself, that she will one day be herself, as well.



Wearing Elodie has become an absolute joy and freedom I was searching for, and finding the words to describe that came naturally to me.

With this Styleathon also came a lot of new readers to the blog (we are over 100,000 visitors a month) and also, some unwanted negativity.
It’s not too much of a surprise, because in life, you will always come across people that dislike you. I don’t have an issue accepting criticism from others, but I do have an issue accepting criticism from people who have not bothered to read what I have to say.
I have no space, room, desire, or patience for adults with child-like behavior, and those comments will be deleted and not given second thought.

I’ve said it a thousand times, but apparently words can fall short on deaf ears, closed minds, and covered eyes.

Be kind.
And if not? Then it’s your loss, not mine.

Be you, and speak you.
The ones that matter, don’t mind. And those who mind?
They don’t matter at all.

Finally, I wanted to say how interesting it was to see the stark contrast in personality between the other Mothers and myself. We are all so different, and there is something strikingly apparent about that. I think that after this entire thing, I came out understanding that even more. We are all unique…individual components that make us up into our own true self. Designer high heels, flip flops. Coffee or tea breaks, walks to the park and strolls through a museum. We are women, Mothers, friends, sisters…not competition. We live in our own corners of this world and all see it through different eyes. And the most important thing?

To love our beautiful little babies with everything inside of us.



Thank you to Leigh from Marvelous Kiddo, for thinking of me and bringing me along for the ride.

Lilla P, for showing me what a nice skirt looks and feels like, compared to my $12 one from Target :) Your clothes are both beautiful and versatile for a trip down the runway or a trip to the garden store. I have to admit that it took all of 3 weeks before I got a stain on it, though. Either dry breast milk, hair color, or mystery fluid. I haven’t decided which it is, yet.

Selima Optique- I have never in my life owned a pair of sunglasses that cost more than $18. Hence why the big, cheap, plastic clunkers always made me so hot and sweaty that I ended up not wearing them. Who would have thought that it was easier to be outside and slave over my garden in 110 degree weather if I had spent a few extra dollars on a nice pair :)

Marla Cielo – Her work is so unique. I wanted to cry when I found out that she specifically chose a piece for us based off of our personalities. There is something so wild and romantic, flattering and heart-warming to know that someone can read who you are as a person. For me, she chose her "Purple Heart" bag.
I can’t wait to pass this onto Elodie someday and have a little piece of who I am stained onto the threads.

And Thank you to Sakura Bloom for allowing me to be a part of this. For keeping Elodie close to my heart, just like she was for 39 and a half weeks. To be near me, just like she is supposed to be.


Round Three of the Styleathon Freestyle Video.
After a Summer of Adventure, we knew we would want to spend this one close to home. We can’t wait to show Elodie the world, and it was in fact the first time she would ever get to experience an Oklahoma summertime.
Gardening, Mini road trips to our watering holes, fireflies, Arts Festivals, Summer thunderstorms in the Midwest, concerts in the park, fireworks, and lazy days in the hammock. These are the simple joys of life that we wanted to include her in. Wearing Elodie, I am able to bring her up to my eyes and tell her and show her all the little things she will one day learn to love herself. The things that will make her who she is.




to Be near you.

*song is "Noche Nada" - Givers.

Goodbye, little friend.

When I was a little girl, I used to form unhealthy attachments to inanimate objects. I would hold tight to the memory of where it came from, who had gifted it, or how long it had been in my life. My things became tiny friends...whispered stories in my room at night.

Not a lot has changed, and these days I still fill our house with little reminders of all these memory-soaked corners of my mind. Piles of rocks and shells, cards, textiles, and book ends.





In the Summer of 2009, Michael and I went on a road trip to Colorado to camp and hike. Somewhere along the 12 hour drive, I cut two pieces of an old fabric I'd had for years, and stitched them into a little bracelet. When I put it on, I had no idea how long it would actually be there.


To be exact, the bracelet lived to be 2 years old. And after that day that I put it on my wrist, I never took it off again. Until today. Underneath it is one pale stripe around my wrist, a memory in itself of all the Summer adventures that my little friend lived through.



Like one barefoot, muddy girls-only weekend in Austin with my best friend.



The little bracelet got a little bit more bleached in the sun & salt....





and Florida wetlands.



Cliff-diving over Summer weekends....



...and little road trips along the way.



And one year later, it traveled back to Colorado. And it was around my wrist the day we got home and I took a pregnancy test.

It was a Summer I will always remember.

Summer Adventures from Aura on Vimeo.

Full of new adventures.



Little bracelet traveled back to Austin to eat some yummy food and introduce baby E to some of the best migas that she will ever have.



And at 11:20am, it was mixed in to hospital bracelets and around my wrist, on the morning that Elodie was born.





You made it two years, bracelet. Two years full of exciting memories and life-changing moments that were soaked into your worn, bleached threads. Goodbye, little friend.