Monday, November 15, 2010

Coming home....(Colorado: Part Seven)




After we left the sand dunes, we still had a long drive ahead of us. We settled in and hit the road for the last time that week.



We drove until we came to the Capulin Volcano in New Mexico, and stopped for one last adventure along the way. I'd never seen the inside of a volcano before. We paid $5 and they made us leave as soon as I took one picture because a storm was moving in, and the volcano is struck by lighting on a regular basis.

We also stopped at the tiny country store to pick up a souvenir and give thanks that we didn't live in a small town in the middle of nowhere. We spent our time browsing the store, listening to a customer complain to the cashier that Obama was a Muslim terrorist. She was in a wheelchair, and looked like she was living off the government. Irony.



We drove a few more hours until the mountains started to disappear, and everything started to look like home, again.



Finally, around 10:30 at night, we were home. We kissed the cats hello and climbed in our comfy bed for the night.



While we were away, my Mom had filled our fridge with all my favorites. Homemade yogurt, a fresh loaf of bread she baked, khoresth badam joon, and plates full of veggies from our garden - it had been busy growing while we were busy hiking.



Nothing feels better than coming home, again. I will leave and see every bit of the Earth just to have that feeling of home, after a long week away.



When we got back, I felt like I was a different person. Physically, I felt like I could run a marathon after what my body had been through. I would hop on Elsie and ride 20 miles without breaking a sweat, and I was excited to see where my body could take me over the next few months.



My huge surprise came Sunday morning, when I decided to take a pregnancy test. My period was two days late, and I couldn't shake the feeling that we had brought something more than pine cones and pictures home from Colorado, that week.

It was July 25th, 2010, and my life changed forever.

Later I would tell Michael that I wanted to remember everything about that moment. The way I felt, his reaction, the way the sun was coming through our bedroom windows. It would be our only first time to live in that moment - the one where we found out that in 9 months, we would be parents.


The story goes that I took the test alone. I didn't want to stir up any unnecessary feelings if there was nothing to even fuss about.
But there was something to fuss about, and I panicked, trying to think of any way to tell Michael.
So I did what I've always known how to do. I wrote him a letter.



I typed it in notepad, in tiny typewriter font after I got home from my bike ride. I left it on the bed and asked him to come in the room while I hid in the bathroom. He picked it up, furred brow, and I buried my face in a towel, not knowing what to expect. And he smiled. And shuffled on his feet like he does when something makes him so happy that his emotions can't keep up with the anchors at the bottom of his legs.
He came to pick me up, and kissed my head. He called me Mama.




It was been 4 months since we've been home from Colorado, and I wrote him that letter. Little baby, we still can not wait to show you the world.
On a trip into the middle of nowhere, we were forced to find ourselves in these rocky mountains and lungs full of fresh, cool air. When you are older, I will pull out these photos. One week spent pushing myself to places I didn't know I could go. All to get ready for you, baby. One day, when you are older, I will tell you all about the story of us.

46 comments:

Kiersten said...

I love this post. I think it may be one of my favorites from you. The pictures were, as usual, beautiful. But I love the story of it.
You're going to be a wonderful mom, Aura. And congratulations again, both on your baby, and on climbing the mountains!
<3 Kiersten
PS. "listening to a customer complain to the cashier that Obama was a Muslim terrorist. She was in a wheelchair, and looked like she was living off the government. Irony." - Aren't people wonderful?

Annie Kennedy said...

Love your sweet stories :) Can't wait for the little one to arrive!

kay*(from india.with love) said...

I recently discovered your blog (like...yesterday) and since have gone through a handful of your previous posts in your archives. I enjoy and appreciate the honesty you write with and the images you take to accompany your posts are great too.

congrats on your pregnancy!! my sister is expecting her first child in march (my first niece/nephew...i'm SO excited) & despite the fact that i'll be moving to India for a year right around the same time she's due - i can hardly wait to meet my new niece. i read an earlier post of yours where you mentioned really coming to grips with how your body is changing and being okay with that - my sister, who is very much into fitness (STILL teaching her classes at the gym!) experienced much of the same thing.

this is a beautiful post and your baby will be lucky to have these to read :)

mice_aliling said...

Hello Aura, I think that you both are going to be wonderful parents. You have so much love to give to the world. I can feel it in all your posts :)

Mia
http://www.micealiling.com/

Anonymous said...

What a beautiful letter!!! You are SO inspiring, thank you for sharing your world...

Whitney said...

it might not mean anything coming from a complete stranger, but in any case, i think you will be an amazing mother. i can tell that you are the type of person who will show your child all the love and life and adventures. you are a mother now ... congratulations and welcome to a whole new world. wow, that sounds totally "aladdin," but it's true. :) being a mama is the best, most enjoyable thing in the world.

Notes from Holly St. said...

another beautiful post...how is it that i can always relate to your stories and emotions??

p.s. you've inspired me to start writing letters to our little one too. there are so many emotions while we wait for her arrival, it's the absolute best way to document this time.

Jessica said...

This post was so lovely. I can't believe it's already been 4 months! Time passes so fast. Day to day it can feel like it drags on but then you turn around and there is your precious little one in your arms. I wish you guys all the love, happiness, craziness, etc. etc. that being a parent brings. It's a beautiful life.

Blessings to you and your growing family.

Anna said...

Beautiful.

Jamie Lane said...

I love that Home gets its own chapter. I love that its role in your life is that important. I bet your baby will love that too. :)

Anonymous said...

Your writing is so beautiful. I know I can always feel uplifted and inspired when I visit this blog. Thank you.

And speaking of writing...would you be kind enough to share what font you used on the the 1st photo "coming home" I love that font.

Amber

Anonymous said...

It's me again. I'm referring to the words "on the" and you used it again in the 1st pic on the next blog post. I love that scribble outside the lines font. Great choice.

Amber

mrs boo radley said...

"Do you want to go camping next summer..."
AWWWW! So sweet!

Sini said...

I'm in a edge of tears here, this was so beautiful. I can't find more words right now :) I love the new look on the top of the blog!

Meemo said...

This brough tears to my eyes. Your words and pictures are magic.

What a lucky baby to have you as parents and such a wonderful grandma. What a great mom to have prepared all that food for you. She is going to spoil your baby. My mom is like that too. What a gem.

Lady Jennie said...

I must be super emotional because this made me cry.

When my first baby, my daughter, was born, we had been trying for almost a year. I took a pregnancy test right on the day of my missed period and it was negative. Then I went to LA for a couple of days, came back and was frustrated that I wasn't getting my period to start taking clomid (which helps you get pregnant).

Finally it dawned on me and I took another test before getting into the shower which showed the faintest line. And when I came out of the shower, the line was even stronger. I walked out of the bathroom and my husband was about to say, "You're toast is burnt." Instead he got out, "Your ...."

"Pregnant!" I finished for him.

(Incidentally, why do you suppose volcanos get hit more often - simply because they are elevated?)

The Panic Room said...

What an awesome post. Thank you for taking us on this vacation with you. I hope I can do as good a job documenting a trip as you someday. So very jealous that you came home to a full fridge, you have no idea. Also sounds like you are totally going to be covered on the grandma/sito front... So important to the future of your hiking adventures :)

Johanna said...

Aw! This is my favorite part of the story. Michael's reaction was so sweet.

Monica said...

So beautiful. The photos, the words, the meaning behind them, your passion, your honesty...all of it.

Love the new header, btw!

Studio 13 said...

Amazing. You are so poetic, and I love the way you pay attention to details, and don't overlook them as insignificant.. because they are sooo important. Congratulations to you both, beautiful post!

B. Inspired. said...

Beautiful photos! Glad I came across your blog!

itsmelissy_ said...

You are such an inspiration and you're going to be an amazing mommy!

marisolkate said...

I just wanted to pop up from anonymity and say that your blog is beautiful. I have been following the colorado mountain hiking story posts and what a lovely way to conclude that trip!

p.s. Your new header is very neat-did you design it?

elissa @ faucethead said...

that is beautiful. congratulations and thanks so much for sharing. all the best.

Amy Seever said...

Your post made me all teary-eyed, in a good way. :)

Steph said...

Aura, this post is so beautiful. You got me all teary eyed at the end. I'm so excited for you two and can't wait to continue to read about your adventures with this little one. xo

Breezy said...

Aw what a tear jerking story. So happy for you guys. Your baby is going to be one lucky little gal or fella. Thanks for sharing!

Hollie said...

what a sweet mama you have. I've loved reading your vacation posts! I am sad that they're over!

Caroline said...

What a sweet post! I've been reading your blog for a little while now, don't know if I've commented yet before though. I work as a labor and delivery nurse, so pregnancy and babies are the norm for me. My friends ask me if it makes me want to have babies, and I always tell them, I do want to have kids some day, but not yet. We want to wait "until we save more money"...but that reasoning could go on forever. I'm one of the few that hasn't caught the baby bug from work, buuut, reading your blog pulls at my heart strings. I love reading all your stories about your adventures and all the hopes and dreams you have for your growing family. My husband calls himself an "adult baby" and me a "baby adult". Maybe if you two "barely adults" can do it, we can to. I'm excited to continue reading about your adventures!

Kathleen said...

khoresth badam joon.. mmmmmm... wow it's 10:30 am and all i want to do is stuff my face with food. is the yogurt homemade "lebne"? that's what we call thick strained yogurt in arabic. garnished with olive oil and fresh mint. salivating now.

Julie-Inspired Shares said...

Perhaps I should have read this at home...I am at work, at my desk with tears streaming down my cheeks....Aura, so beautiful.
Juliexo

Metallo Bianco Jewelry said...

Oh my goodness...your photos and writing are just beautiful...really. Thank you for sharing all of this!

Mari said...

I don't know how you do it, but every single post you put together is... well, I'm looking for a word other than beautiful because that's what everyone else has said, but it's true. I simply love the way you take the simplest things in life and make them glow. To be completely honest, reading your blog was what made me decide to try blogging myself. If I could only me half as honest and excited about life as you are! So thanks for sharing your words and pictures, and congratulations.

Anna said...

This post made me cry because it was so beautiful. Thank you so so so much for sharing parts of your life with us. You are a fantastic writer, and I always feel like I'm right there with you whenever you show us your pictures or write the words that you do. Thank you.

The Kent Family said...

This made me cry. You will be an amazing mother. And I guarentee you will not make a mess of your little baby! They will be perfect.

.dear.jenny. said...

Fantastic! The stuff dreams are made of.

Jeanelle said...

oh wao! I am completely mesmerized by this post. My name is Jeanelle and I found your blog via your friend Angela's blog. This is the most honest & beautiful baby post I've read, me and my hubby decided to seriously start trying for a baby, but like you I'm scared for the future ahead but so excited to actually have this little human being to inspire and show him/her the beautiful things of the world (like just breathing fresh mountain air). Thank you so much for sharing this, sometimes I feel like many parents just worry about superficial things and don't take the time to just discover the world (again) with their little one. Do you mind if I post your pictures in my blog, I love, love your work :) BTW, my name is Jeanelle and I'm a Panamanian designer residing in OKC (Norman). Nice to meet you :)

Michelle said...

This is such a sweet, wonderful, emotional post! Congrats to you!!!

coleface said...

*sigh* I love this. My family has a bunch of bronze camels I mean a bunch of them, we all have a few of these bronze camels. I am so excited about this. Can't you tell?

Amanda said...

Oh goodness. I am blown away by the beauty of your words.

zu said...

Aura, from all the super blogs that I know, things that I read every day, YOUrs is the one that really move my heart, you make me cry almost every single time.... beautiful person you are. Sometimes I feel like I am writing my own story.

:)

Zura

Fancy said...

I want your mom's bread recipe...yum!!!

Kelly @ Dare to be Domestic said...

TEARS! I love this post and I love how you told Michael. I'm a note girl myself, always have been. I'm so over the moon for you it's crazy. Big things are coming and the world awaits you guys - my best wishes and happy thoughts are with you!!!

P.S. That fresh food looks amazing - will your mom adopt me? :)

Khrista said...

What a sweet mother you have! And I teared up reading your description of your husband reacting to the news of your little one!
Blessings! :)

Dawn said...

Okay. I almost cried reading your last bits in this post. Ahh, pregnancy makes me way too emotional, hehe. Congratulations on your pregnancy :) My friend pointed me here and I'm really happy she did. I love reading words of other pregnant woman since mine don't seem to flow out quite easily. Thank you for sharing this time of your life so publicly!

Carly Anne said...

Okay. I've got to ban myself from your blog while I'm at work. I'm a crying mess! =)

This is such a beautiful way to tell your husband about a pregnancy. Thank you for sharing such an intimate slice of your life with us.

XO
Carly

All this is Grace and Charm
http://allthisgraceandcharm.blogspot.com