My least favorite thing to do every day is to find something to wear. I am guilty of living in yoga pants, barefoot, when I don't have to go to work.
Years of being an insecure teenage girl have led me to a point of confidence in myself, where I feel comfortable looking like me, and not ten pounds of hair, clothing, and accessories.
Watching my body grow and change adds a whole other difficulty to my morning routine. I'm in that in between where people squint at me and wonder if I'm pregnant, or if I've had too much beer.
Each and every day another pair of my favorite jeans goes out the door, and I'm confined to my less than beautiful maternity jeans. I think this is the most dangerous stage of pregnancy for any woman who has worked hard to take control of her confidence.
I am in my beginning stages of surrendering to Motherhood. In the first trimester I had to let go of my control over my body, and now I'm learning to let go of my ego, vanity, and strong self-awareness. I'm learning that with every week that passes, this becomes less about me, and more about what is growing inside my body. Good-bye size 0's, toned bellies and being able to bend over.
Hello to my new outtie belly button, curves, and growing hips.
Surrendering to the changes that are happening to me physically are going to be the easiest part of this adventure. Every day something new comes up, and some huge internal battle is ultimately lost to the idea of this little baby that is taking me over.
At least I can try to look cute in the process.