For every time I thought of this baby girl as just an idea down the road, or a distant daydream, this weekend she became very real to me. We had an appointment with our midwife and the reality sank in that she could even be here as early as 2 weeks away. It has been sending me into a panicked rush to finish her room, and do all my gardening, Spring cleaning, and organizing before she is here and my life changes forever.
Lately, I feel a tight grasp of panic and stress in my stretched-thin minutes. There are never enough hours in the day, and as each one slips by we are one day closer to the first week of April. What will our lives be like? It is only in moments like this one, where I have 30 minutes to eat my breakfast and compose these thoughts, that I realize that whether I like it or not, she is coming. I can't believe I am holding so much fear, excitement, and complete unknown confusion about this tiny little thing that I feel wiggling inside my belly. Are we ever ready for our lives to change that much in one moment?
My sister had a beautiful shower for baby girl this weekend. I am so thankful for all our friends and family and all the people who already love her and can't wait to meet her. It makes the stress of my own wandering mind hush a bit, to know that nobody else is worrying about all these changes that are coming.
I came home with a car full of beautiful things that I can't wait for her to see. There is a mountain in my living room, and as soon as I get home from work today, I will busy-beeing putting things away and cleaning, once again.
We put together her stroller this weekend, bought her mattress and crib bedding, and finally put up her 3 little white shelves we bought in Austin last month. I took all the old frames I've been collecting and had them fitted for glass, added prints I bought off etsy, and found places for them on the empty walls. Every little thing is coming together, and becoming more real by the day.
Ready or not, we will meet you soon, baby girl.