Wednesday, April 27, 2011

You are one month old, Elodie.




The night my water broke, I started to shake. I was frozen with fear, not knowing what to expect next. Everything I had been calm and preparing for went out the window in the second I realized that you - my daydream, my imaginary baby - would be here in just a few hours.

When my midwife placed you on my chest, I remember the way you smelled. Even though I had never smelled you before, you still smelled familiar. Like an old tshirt or the way home smells when you first walk in after a long vacation. When you looked in my eyes, it was like I was looking through a mirror at myself. And in the same way I felt like I knew you....a set of eyes I had somehow looked into before, you knew me. Your body melted onto mine like complete relief. I have never felt more needed by something my entire life, and in that moment I realized we belonged to each other.

Elodie, you are one month old. You have started looking into my eyes, instead of me just looking into yours. In the middle of the night, half asleep and in a haze - you look into my eyes and you begin to smile. Before this, there has been nothing that burned a fire inside my heart like the moment I realized that you recognized me. I love you, I love you, a thousand times I love you. Beautiful little girl, this feels like the first day that I am alive. To know that I have created you, and you understand it.

71 comments:

Chelsea said...

those eyes are gorgeous!

Jessica said...

She is so beautiful!

carlotta said...

This is beautiful. Elodie is beautiful and the love you have for her is so evident!

Anonymous said...

Tears in my eyes. Your words and sentiments are so beautiful.

Nakia said...

Beautiful! The feeling of knowing you have created something so precious and wonderful! Happy 1 month Elodie.

Rachael said...

Those are beautiful words to read! I just discovered your site the other day, and I love your photography! And your words. You're a great writer. And your daughter is beautiful! Look at those eyes! And I love her name. So pretty and unique.

mama D said...

silly me, i was crying before i even read a single word.

must be the mommy hormones in full effect.

happy one-month birthday, little one!

Becky said...

Beautiful: Your baby, your words, your love.

Thank you for sharing this.

Nikole Taylor said...

Her eyes are intoxicating.
Lovely post :)

Jodie said...

She is so gorgeous!

Johanna said...

She's beautiful! I'm so happy for you!

An Invitation said...

Beautiful words and beautiful baby girl. I'm so happy for both of you :)

Melissa said...

You sound so happy!! :) She is a doll.

Kiersten said...

She's gorgeous, Aura! I can't believe she's a month old already!
As everybody else has already said - I'm so happy for you and Michael!
<3 Kiersten

Shan said...

She is gorgeous! As are you. Can't remember if I've commented before, but your blog is a little respite from the craziness of my days. Thank you!

Anna of IHOD said...

I can relate to so many of your words right now. Its incredible how when you meet your baby you feel as if they were always a part of you.
Little Elodie is gorgeous.
Enjoy and soak up every moment!

Kristyn said...

You painted a beautiful picture of being a mama with your words. So very sweet to read. She is stunning.

Katie (Mama May I) said...

New to your blog...and so grateful that I found my way to it. Your photography is simply stunning, your baby girl precious. Beautiful post today. Made me smile. :)

Sini said...

that is the most beautiful thing you have written Aura. I love this. I want to feel like you, one day I will. With my own child. someday.

--JamJam said...

She is so very cute.

Becky said...

Beautiful baby, beautiful sweet sweet post! Love it!

Kara said...

Aura,

I can't get over how gorgeous Elodie is -- I am in love with her big eyes, dark hair, and sweet baby lips. If you don't mind me asking, did you have a home birth?

Either way, congrats to you and your precious family! Each time I see that you have posted new pictures, it brings a little extra light into my day! So excited for you and this incredible journey you have begun...

xx, Kara

Laura said...

What an amazing description of new motherhood. Beautiful.

Christine said...

they've done scientific studies that show that Mom's when blindfolded and given various babies to smell can always pick their own baby out but Dad's when blindfolded and given various babies to smell are unable to identify correctly which baby is theirs.

Chela said...

I want to scoop her up and nuzzle her sweet cheeks! What a precious child. It's awesome that you are all enjoying each other so much!

Marisa said...

Annnnnnd, tears.

This is so precious Aura! I think it is so wonderful that you are cherishing and recording every little moment. Elodie will be so lucky to read your words someday and be reminded of how much you love her

iamchasingthirty said...

I just love love LOVE reading your blog. We are having a baby girl in just four months so I feel like I'm tagging right along behind you. My visits here inspire me to remain strong, at peace, forever in awe of this being inside me and so soon to be out... Every post of yours just oozes positivity which is just what I need in both times of fear and sheer excitement! Thank you for this and congratulations to you...what an amazingly sweet and beautiful family.

Betsy from three20 said...

wow. I've heard mothers describe their love for their newborns, but never like this.

You are an amazing writer.

And your baby girl is gorgeous. I can't believe she is a month old already!

In Real Life said...

Absolutely beautiful baby girl, and beautiful writing.

Kalei's Best Friend said...

Nothing like the scent of a baby! Beautiful sentiment, Aura

Megan said...

She is so gorgeous. It almost hurts to look at her!

Valerie said...

Beautiful baby, beautiful words! You have such a lovely way with words and I so enjoy reading your blog. You seem like the kind of person who has a pure and loving heart and I'm so glad you are willing to share your life with us!

Lis said...

She is precious.

Oh, how your words have captured a mother's heart!

Laura Nelson said...

what a beautiful experience, Im so happy for you :) she is just gorgeous like her mom :)

Nikki B said...

Beautiful. Simply, Beautiful. Brought tears to my eyes, I can only hope for this someday when I have my own children. Thanks for sharing your heart.

Linda said...

Amazing. Love the photo. And the words are just gorgeous. Thank you for sharing.

Anna Olivia said...

Beautiful post. <3

jodi said...

happy one month miss elodie. you are beautiful, just like your muma x

Manu said...

Pure Beauty. The baby and your words.
Besos!

Anonymous said...

*tear* That was beautiful, and she's beautiful!
<3 Hayley

Court said...

Beautiful, both Baby E and your touching post.

Kaia said...

Hi Aura :)
Elodie has the most beautiful deep and soulful eyes, you could get lost in them and what a gorgeous name too. I love your blog, you write in such a beautiful truthful way and your photography is awesome too. I think we fully come into our own selves when we become Mamas. I know with me its like a fire burning in my soul that wasn't there before. I'm expecting my 2nd baby in October and I'm aching to feel my lil Bubby in my arms, look into their eyes and breathe in their sweet smell. There's nothing like it. You will love looking back on this blog as these few months go really fast. Would love to hear about your birth journey one day if you ever feel like sharing it. Hope you are getting a bit of sleep at night.
Kaia from Australia xo

M said...

this is beautiful! Your words make me look forward to being a momma!
congrats, a million times on your beautiful baby!!!

Annie Kennedy said...

Oh, little sweet baby :)

Shelley said...

Ferehsta

l e n e y said...

Beautiful words Aura and she's gorgeous..

Nicole said...

Thank you for sharing this raw, emotional and inspiring post. I can't wait to one day have a little one of my own! Your blog is so inspiring for me to read, about gardening, food, travels, and now your little one. I'm so glad that I found it!

Miriam said...

Ahh... Your words take me back to the birth of my first born, my daughter. I remember feeling the same way about her...a feeling of absolute love, utter devotion, welcomed responsibility and vulnerability. She is so beautiful and your words are so eloquent.

christine donee said...

she is positively beautiful.

Just found your blog - I'll probably be here for a while.. ya know, virtually stalking you. hope that's not too creepy...

Mrs. G said...

<3 this.

Cheryl McCormick said...

of course, I was in tears the minute I started to read this... as always Aura, beautifully written, and happy one month baby girl! You are beautiful!!!

BloomsYellow said...

So sweet. Only a Mama can understand that love. Life seems to begin all over again with the birth of a little one. I know exactly how you feel. Hugs to you and your little love bird.

Ramona said...

Beautiful words! How incredibly amazing to be able to create life! It's hard to grasp these toughts for me but so amazing to think about it!

Ms. Charity P. said...

Your daughter is beautiful! So happy for the joy you are experiencing. I can't wait to experience it myself one day. I always so look forward to your posts, they make me feel peaceful and happy. What great people you are!

Melanie @ Tip Toe Thirty said...

I'm so glad your post wasn't much longer than this. I had already started tearing up. If you had continued in your beautiful, eloquent manner I would have likely been balling like a baby (no pun intended.)
She's beautiful Aura!

raichel said...

Aura, she is so so cute!!! beautiful eyes...

El said...

Another amazing post!

~Elham

Scott and Tabi said...

this had me in tears! she's so beautiful!

Aileen said...

Beautiful. Both the words & your daughter.

ella@lifeologia said...

She is lovely and your words are beautiful - what a great gift this will be for her when she's old enough to read....
xo

Stephen and Larissa said...

She is a little beauty! I love all her dark hair!

kati said...

exquisite!! xx

kati said...

exquisite!! xx

lbandlav said...

She's gorgeous! BTW congrats!!!

Jessica said...

This is so precious. I know there is no other feeling like that mama-daughter connection. It's such an enormous unexplainable emotion. It's amazing.
Blessings to you Aura and your wonderful family.

kelly ann said...

I cried when I read this - it was so beautiful and moving. And she is breathtaking. I can't wait to experience this kind of love someday. <3

Kayla Poole said...

your words, those tiny hands...I am moved beyond recognition right now.

Tracey said...

Also...the pictures of the three of you...do you tripod these and self timer or is someone else taking them? I need to create some of these. I think i am actually in about 4 photos that my children are in too. I joke that if i died they wouldn't actually know what i looked like as there are no photos but it's true. I love that you are in so many of yours. x

Eliza said...

So cute! Hope your having a nice day. ;)
Eliza

O'Melly said...

Happy Mothers Day Aura, Hope you're enjoying your sweet little baby!

Imani said...

She is so gorgeous and looks exactly like your husband! Happy Belated Mother's Day!