When I was pregnant with Elodie, we were one person. Quiet moments in the backyard, watching the world around us unfold, I would tell her what life was like out here.
The breeze, the birds, the drops of sticky Summer on your bare skin.
After she was born, it felt like a big part of me was outside of my body. Although I physically felt free - no longer bound by the restrictions of a huge, looming belly - I felt a dull, empty ache for where Elodie used to be.
Those first few weeks, it was just us. Naked, warm, comforting. I would press her against my bare skin and we fit together like two missing pieces that were finally bound again. Her head on my chest, her throat against the curve of my breast, her belly against the roundness of mine, an empty, hollow room where she once used to be...we would breathe and our hearts would beat as just one. She was still a part of me in those moments.
Elodie is 3 months old. I love to watch her relationship with my husband, an absolute puddle in the hands of her Dad, I am pulled back to the days where I was also a little girl, in love with my Daddy who could do no wrong. She bats her eyelashes, giggles, and already I watch her flirting with Daddy, and starting this sweet journey of love that Fathers share with their little girls. Always.
And with me?
I can’t wait for her to wake up sleepy and yawning from her naps. To wrap her up and keep her close to my heart, once again. To look down and see her tiny hands, where a round, looming belly once was.
She grabs my (falling) hair and holds up her head, a look of complete contentment across her serious face. She watches the world unfold, through her own eyes, and whispers from me. Stories of the breeze, birds, and sticky drops of Summer on her bare skin.
And in these moments, we are one person again.
Round Two of the Sakura Bloom Styleathon - How wearing my baby has changed my life/why I choose to wear my baby.
Striped shirt - Lilla P, 2011
Gray Skirt - Target, 2010
Leather flip flops - Abercrombie and Fitch, 2007
Denim cut-offs - Thrifted and cut into shorts, 2011
Sunglasses - Selima Optique
Sling - Sakura Bloom
Elodie's onesie - KEEP AUSTIN WEIRD... bought on our babymoon in Austin, 2011
62 comments:
Lovely post lovely pictures, she's just so freakin' edible! :)
I always meant to comment and ask how it went with your dog transitioning with a baby in the house? Ours was GREAT with the first, and he's totally scared of our second. :) Poor fella.
xo
You so perfectly articulate the most soulful feelings, it is an absolute joy to read your posts. Baby wearing is truly amazing, such a beautiful way to remain connected and physically bound. These photos are all beautiful, but the last one is my favorite. Elodie is a sweet angel:)
I wore my little crumb until she was 30 pounds...best feeling ever to have her attached to me!
I loved the sling I carried my son in!. I still have it after all these years... Elodie is beautiful!.
this is so beautiful. You're both beautiful, inside and out. I only recently found your blog but I'm an immediate aura joon advocate
lots of love
She is soooooo beautiful. :) :) Lucky mama!
What an amazingly verbalized post. I've never had children but I can see why wearing your baby would be so spiritually fulfilling. If I ever have children I know I'll do the sme thing. <33
By the way, you and your lady are adorable.
That's alot of how I felt about wearing my baby when she was born =) People bought us strollers, but it was months before we used them. I just...missed her...when she was out of my arms. I felt like our hearts had been so near for so long that something was missing when they were far apart again.
My husband thought I was a nutter.
My daughter will turn two in a couple weeks and I still wear her every day. Obviously she does alot of walking and running on her own but she still comes to me and wants to be pressed against my skin, heart against my heart, while I walk her around the garden and tell her stories or sing her lullabies. I wouldn't trade wearing her for the world =) It isn't for everyone, but I'm glad you love it too!
P.S. I'm sorry that I took so long responding to you, but we've been ill. I'll respond tonight =)
I LOVE the photo of her yawning, it's too cute for words. I don't have kids yet, but i reckon babywearing is where it's at. It just makes so much sense, and little Elodie looks quite happy and comfy where she is. xx
You have the most beautiful baby! I don't have children yet so I can only imagine the sort of connection you feel with your child, but I can't wait to experience it myself.
Just lovely. Your words move me.
I knew that was a Keep Austin Weird onesie! Aura, you shouldve told me you came to TX! Next time you must and we'll get the babies together- see if they fall in love.
One of my favorite posts! It makes me super excited about being a mother one day.
And I will definitely be sporting around the little when it happens. And I'm actually even more excited about the possibilities for Kenny... he will be able to carry around the little one, hands-free :)
Oh, so cute.
-Carly
www.createliveblog.com
I don't think that could be more beautifully said. I remember the first few nights after my little man was born I would just well up with tears thinking about how he was not in my belly anymore & it almost seemed part of me was missing. It took me a little while to get over that fact, but now when he's in my arms and we have those sweet moments where he just lets me hold him tight, it melts my heart. Those are simply the best moments but too few & far in between now. (He's 11 months old now & so active & independent.) Treasure those moments you can wear her! They are too precious. <3
Absolutely gorgeous. The writing, the photos, all of it.
This really resonates with me - my son is just a little older than Elodie (he'll be four months this weekend!) and I wear him pretty much all the time when we're out of the house. He loves it and to me, it feels like... home, somehow. That when he's on me, we're both exactly where we belong.
Absolutely beautiful! Gorgeous photos too!
I remember the bliss of lifting my babies up after their naps, and having them fold their little knees up and snuggle up in my arms. They are already 9 and 11, but I still enjoy greeting them with a hug as they wake up all sweet and drowsy each morning.
Loved this preciousness. You are such a wonderful mama. I know Elodie is going to look back on these entries and know that she was blessed to have you and Michael as her parents.
<3
So sweet, Aura:) She is beautiful and I love these little glimpses into your world. I miss those days of feeling my girls kick, too.
I can't believe Elodie is three months old already. She's so pretty. Kisses for Elodie from Indonesia! :)
Lovely, Aura. The sunglasses from Selima Optique fits you perfectly!
I adore the pictures, haven't been taking enough photos lately and it gives me a kick again to continue :)
you have definitely inspired me to wear my babies [when we're ready to have them]. thank you for writing. it's wonderful when notice your updates!
Your little baby is so lovley!! She's beautiful!!
You're a great mother and a amazing photographer!
Have a nice day
Selena
Beautiful post. I did not have a sling for my first three children (although they were with my in my arms always, and content to be that way). I did have a wrap for Violet, my youngest. It was the best investment. She had more challenges than my other children in being able to settle and find comfort. But, as soon as she was wrapped up snugly in her cocoon against my body- everything was aligned and we both fell into a comfortable, peaceful step. When my sister came to visit us with her 6 week old last summer, he was unusually irritable for her. So I placed him in Violet's wrap and wore him so that my sister could have a break. He settled instantly and stayed there for hours. There are days when I wish that I could still wear Violet.
Dear Aura,
i have been reading along for quite a while and finally I decided its time to thank you for sharing your truly inspiring approach towards life and making us notice the beauty in small details.
Köszönöm (it means "Thank you" in hungarian, as I am originally from Hungary :)
J.
Well said. Simply beautiful.
i, too, carried both my girls in a sling. In fact, i never owned a stroller or bucket of any kind. the people around me thought i was nuts but, i can't imagine having been any further away from either of them.
lovely photos as always.
dear aura,
you are such a sweet mama. life can be so full in it's simplicity. how grateful i am to learn from my child and to also learn from other mothers.
it is also so lovely to see a different corner of the country!
kiss to your elodie!
elizabeth xo
She is just beautiful!
you're such a beautiful writer. and your baby is a beautiful baby. these posts always make me look forward to becoming a mother someday and understanding all these feelings you talk about.
Once again, I am in awe of your beautiful outlook on life and the way that you so simply yet powerfully combine words and images to speak directly to the heart.
I guess youre no longer above not advertising on your blog?
Beautiful.
Anonymous - if you really see that as advertising or think I am allowing it on this blog, then you obviously aren't paying attention and know nothing about me. Which isn't surprising.
I choose to not sell space on the sidebar of this blog because it is my creative outlet, not my job. The Styleathon is one project I chose to take part in because I feel strongly about the subject it is promoting - babywearing. The sponsors are the reason this project was made possible, and I have no issue mentioning them because I'm thankful to take part in something I feel passionate to speak on.
If you have an issue with that, the decisions I make for myself, or what I put on my own personal blog, then move along. I don't have room for blindly negative and assuming behavior in this space.
Also, I never made any reference to "being above" anything. The fact that you would point out and make light of that type of mentality is enough to assure me that even responding to this wasn't worth my time. You have already made up your mind about who I am and how my mind works, so why try to persuade you?
You go girl! Your darling daughter's personality is already showing, she is a gem!!! We didn't have slings but w/my youngest(now 12) I wore her in a front pack. She was born with this condition called hyper sensitivity syndrome, in general poor baby cried all the time(as well as myself and her older brother & sister), was very sensitive to light, touch, sound. I slept with her on top of my chest for the first two weeks because she stopped breathing in the hospital! She loved the front pack & it was the only way I could get anything done! I called her my little papoose <3!
For many of the same reasons, we can't wait to wear our baby either whenever he or she decides to come (late August/early September). Helping baby be curious and holding him or her close...plus, everyone we've talked to has told us we'll have a much happier babe. Thank you for sharing some of your insights. :)
Aura, I can not believe what 'anonymous' has said.. Please, do not give any more responses to that person.. U do not need to justify anything... Delete the comments they leave... By answering you are giving what they want: attention...
KBF- You're right, I should know better. It's really no different than a grade school bully, right? That type of mentality is never outgrown, and I would give Elodie the same advice on attention-seekers, someday.
I'm not a comment deleter, so they will stay. I will just learn to be better about ignoring :)
I was just re-reading a post where someone said "Why are you letting someone else raise your kid?" and you're like "Oh my..."
hahahaha!
That's how I felt when I read the anono comment. Like, ok, here goes...
Anyway, that baby gets more delicious every day. I love when people stop me when I'm wearing my baby and say things like "They just didn't have things like that when my babies were small." I'm thinking really? Weren't long strips of cloth around since Mesopotamia? But whatevs, I get what they are saying. I'm glad babywearing is becoming something cool, because it's awesome for babies and mamas everywhere.
oh she is just precious!!!!!
How beautiful is she! I think I'll be a baby wearer, myself :)
what a beautiful post and baby!! i don't have children, but i already cannot wait to have them strapped to my chest and carry them around. when i ride the bus, i see all these mom's with clunky strollers and things trying to accomodate them, and i can't help but think that a sling would keep their babies so much closer without the hassle. it's just a beautiful connection.
i love the way leigh described your entry in this month's styleathon - saying how you blend poetry and soulful writing with images. i couldn't agree more and really enjoyed your entry and blog as a whole. rumi came to mind straight away when i read leigh's description and how apt really for a lady of iranian descent! you do get a fair few crazy comments here though recently! perhaps even allowing them gives them undue attention? i don't mean to sound critical.
I think I've caught the baby bug. Ohhh boy!
I love these pictures and your baby couldn't be more beautiful!
Beautiful and stylish mama and baby!
I will definitely wear my babies when I have kids. I was first introduced to it by a friend who is part of an afro-centric community group, and she wore her daughter tied to her back with traditional cloth. I've seen some back/front controversy, but people seem pretty evenly divided. I think it's a beautiful bonding idea.
Gosh I'm in love with your pictures..they tell such a romantic sweet story every time I open up your Blog...So beautiful really!!
♥
Pearl
Elodie is adorable, and your words are beautiful as always. Reading your blog gives me hope that you can have it all: passion for life, words, and family.
such a cutie!
That was INCREDIBLE.
What a great post. I don't have any children yet, but I can certainly see how wearing your baby can take you back to the positive aspects of pregnancy.
Where a bouts Oklahoma are you? I ask because I'm in Tulsa and I don't know if my Haven hates being worn because she just does or if it's because all I own is a wrap and we get ridiculously hot when we are together.I really wished she liked it more. Her sis was the same. So maybe I do it wrong. Is the sling you have better for our sweltering summers?
Thanks Aura
P.S. That is one quote I shall never forget. So, so true.
Well, I was able to get through this one without tearing up, until I read that quote. All of a sudden my eyes are stinging and my heart is melting. I love that quote. It is so true, isn't it?
Beautiful! As always. Can't help but teared. xo
I had that same empty feeling after Everett was born 6 weeks ago. Oh how I missed "Bump" but I was so thrilled to have him here at last. To this day when he falls asleep on my chest or tummy, I go straight back to that pregnant feeling and miss it so.
Beautiful writing.
When my children were born (they are 12 and 9, now), I had the same empty feeling that you discribed. Though we had a baby buggy, I ALWAYS held them in my arms (we had a sling but for some reason I felt it more comfortable to carry my children around without) till they were about three years old. I took the buggy for all the things you have to carry with you when you have a little one, and sometimes I lay my babies into it when they had fallen asleep in my arms. That was all. Elder women often told me that I shouldn't carry around my babies that often, but I knew they were wrong. I FELT it. What a child needs the most, is Mommy's (and Daddy's) soft touch and warm breath against the skin.
And no, I am not one of those overprotective moms. Actually I think I am almost the antipode of it. Maybe I sometimes let them go their own ways a bit too early. But I know they can. They seem to be really one with this world. Maybe it's because I decided to carry them around for so long when they were still babies and needed to feel my shelter.
Thank you for being you!!!
Janna
I have been so drawn to your blog, I love your eloquence, and Elodie is absolutely beautiful. My 'babies' are 16, 18, and 21, and while the slings were only coming onto the scene at that time, I held them in my arms constantly, slept with them on me or beside me, picked them up when the they cried, nursed them well beyond infancy, and loved having them close as much as possible. Reading all this beautiful closeness with babies has at first saddenend me that I can no longer do so with mine (although my oldest will still find a spot on my lap regularly!), but the post above from A Cappelli about holding her nephew helped me realize that I could make this commitment when the time comes that grandchildren grace my house. Thank you for the inspiration for this hope!
Your video made my heart hurt a little. My children are now 16 and 11, but both spent time in a sling on either the front or back of me as babies and toddlers. My little buddies- we were extensions of each other. Those were especially sweet times for us- they made me. Thanks for reminding me.
love your elodie! my elodie is 9 months old and I think she's perfect. I also carry her around as with 2 year old twins it's the easiest way to get around!!!
gorgeous blog, I just found it today!!!
corrie:)
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